Who needs you? (part 1)

What are we missing from relationships nowadays? There’s a needless distancing between people and a growing need for physical signs of interaction that trump the stuff that used to be more paramount like… a story to tell. People didn’t carry cameras around back in the day so when they met someone or had a prized moment most of the time they just had to exercise the will to commit it to memory well enough to recall and retell in a compelling way. Becoming good with words was the ultimate show of personal prestige. Because hell, you could bullshit your way around a story that was plain and ordinary, or even completely untrue, and jazz it up to morph it into a thing of status among your acquaintances. Images have made us lazy and unimaginative. Although I don’t really like twitter I have to admit there’s a merit to having to craft a whole idea in a limited amount of characters. There has to be thought put into it. Which is why I hardly ever use it, lol.

So then there’s the whole thing I have with the apparent meeting of people in the celebrity world. How much can we really tell about these people? They can seem like individuals that you could resonate with on a molecular level, “this person could be my friend”, “this person is SO perfect for me”, “OMG I want to get with them”, and everything in between. People have different needs, different holes in their life they want to spackle over and they do so with projections of their desires onto idealized models that seem to fit perfectly into those voids. So, what do you see in those people you so admire? Friends? Teachers? Lovers? Soul mates? Confidants? Why can’t you find those things in your everyday life? Are you seeking an unattainable ideal and therefore just taking a page from a magazine and cutting it to fit your desires? All of these people are… well… people; as people-y as the cast of characters in your particular corner of this worldly stage.

So, yes, I have to admit to myself that I fill voids with ideals. My needs are simple, like food and water, yet as seemingly distant and out of reach as the next star over. I need a generous mind to pick. It’s an impulse as real and human as any other tic like running fingers through your hair in a calming fashion, or smoking for comfort or biting your cuticles like the balance of the universe depended on it. I love a brain that challenges me; intelligence makes me tingle in the netherregions. I have found some people in my little earthly nook that I consider to be blessed with abundant intelligence, and whose brains I love to pick… but then comes another crux to this whole situation… there’s always the nagging feeling that people always have something better to do. I know this because even I feel I always have something better to do, but I LOVE talking to smart people. I love one-on-ones about books and science and psychology and my fandoms. I love hearing about other peoples’ travels and what they’ve learned from them. I love making my own plans based on what others tell me has worked for them, how they’ve managed to solve problems. I adore seeing human creativity, determination and spirit pull through and make people better versions of themselves than before… oh… Lord… I ADORE people who are able to change and by sheer power of will turn into better human versions of themselves. That is like… SO damn sexy.

Is there a point to this? Yes, there has to be. It has to come to something, and it will. But not today, because as usual, time has passed and other things need my attention. Dammit.