The Inner Workings of the Highly Unlikely

I should be writing. I think I need this right now, I’ve noticed a teeny spike in my visits and it’s kinda comforting to think of people reading my thoughts and perhaps empathizing in silence with my plights and tribulations. I am continuing my novel, I did start today. I am happy to say at a quick second glance my writing does not appear to suck as bad as I had thought when I set it down a couple of months ago. Problem now is, I’m at that point in the story where you have to cringe for the character, the part where you kinda wanna change channels to avoid secondhand embarrassment (if you’re like me). Writing that kind of complication is proving to be a hurdle, but I’ll trudge through it eventually, I’m sure. I think. I hope.

So a few days ago I tweeted about being Claire Temple and I think I should get that idea out of the way now. For those of you who are like me and probably hold the idea of knowing the name but needing a gentle nudge in the right direction, Claire is the kickass nurse from the new Marvel Defenders universe. She’s the only character (I think) who’s crossed over into three separate heroes’ storylines. In all three cases she comes off a teensy bit ex-machina…ish, but man, this is just THE kind of character I resonate with on an atomic level. Let’s look at the whys… she’s on the sidelines a bit, she’s needed and saves the day for the ones who save the world… er… city, neighborhood, whatever. You see, THIS is the kinda stuff I was talking about a few posts ago; you don’t have to be a HERO to be a hero to someone. I wouldn’t mind staying in the shadows if it meant doing some good for the ones who do the greater good. I am a thinker; I am an idea person, not so much a spotlight seeker, nor a martyr, and DEFINITELY not a leader.

I’ve often fantasized about a job where I wouldn’t have to be up front. I actually kinda dream about a job where I don’t have to deal directly with people at all, or just with a select few. My go-to fave characters in every action/fantasy/scifi movie are the techno geeks or the silent strategists or the ridiculously talented, albeit incredibly limited-scope problem-solvers. Out of these sometimes stem a few reluctant heroes with moral dilemmas (my absolute favorites, ask me about Carol Peletier and a certain Himura, please), and some savvy underdogs (the fact that the Lannisters have Tyrion is the only reason I still buy their merch over Targaryen’s).

This is funny because as much as I would love to be able to create a character like this I don’t think I could if I wanted to. Or maybe I am and I haven’t noticed yet, you’ll have to be the judge of that. In any case, since my character is dealing in dreams, lucid dreams, dream awareness and the like, I am now for the purposes of research delving into the world of lucid dreaming. So far it’s afforded me jack shit, but it’s been interesting questioning reality at random intervals during the day. Problem is, I am usually so dog tired at night when I go to sleep and wake up so early and jacked up on the need to beat the clock in the morning I don’t have the time to recollect my dreams. Until last night, that is.

So yeah, I finally collected a damn dream last night, hip hooray. It was the dumbest dream… where I met one of my current… I don’t want to say celebrity obsession because we’re talking obscure, questionable level of fame, and not so much an obsession as it is a sincere interest and itching desire to get to KNOW, not meet… KNOW. Not in the biblical sense, though. I don’t think. But anyway it was as typical and cringey as one would expect from this type of dream, where it was mostly just the two of us gawking at each other in silent fascination throughout what was by every perceivable aspect just a regular outing with faceless friends. The only spoken part I remember was a friend taking me aside and muttering in the most fed-up tone you can imagine “Geez, you think you could tone it down a bit?” That’s it. That’s the dream. I can’t recall a single other exchange, just snippets of events and scenery.

I’m thinking I can use this. Won’t it be a fun twist if this blog turns into my dream journal… I apologize in advance if it does, that just sounds trite as hell.

Well I hope this entry doesn’t turn out to be part of another dream, because it took up valuable book-writing time. Wouldn’t be surprised if this ended up becoming my book after all the work I’ve already put into the other one. Hey, maybe I end up with two books. Huzzah!